My Heartfelt Struggle: More than a Number on the Scale
Hello there, I'm Eddie Solien. My life, much like a tapestry, is richly woven with complexities. I've been navigating the turbulent waters of severe heart failure with left ventricle dysfunction and atrial fibrillation, grappling with a 16% output reduction in ejection fraction, while also tackling Auto Immune Pancreatitis and Type 2 Diabetes. And if that wasn't enough, I'm also proudly part of the vibrant LGBTIQA+ community. Over the past seven years of living with heart failure, I've gained 60 kilos, and now, I find myself in the midst of an emotional and physical battle.
Let's talk about weight – a topic that seems to be everyone's favourite dinner conversation, particularly when it's not their own weight they're discussing. "Eat less, walk more, do this, do that," they say. But it's not as straightforward as it seems, especially when your heart is working overtime just to keep you breathing.
Gaining weight, particularly when it's related to health issues, is often viewed through a simplistic lens. But for me, it's been a journey of self-discovery, of feeling my emotions in a way I never did when I was lighter. This isn't just about the physical weight; it's about the emotional heaviness that comes with it. Every glance in the mirror, every unsolicited piece of advice, adds another layer to the emotional armour I've had to build.
In the same vein as Carrie Bradshaw might muse over her relationships with men, I find myself pondering my relationship with my body. It's a complicated love affair, marked by ups and downs, self-acceptance battles, and societal judgments. I've realised that the scale doesn't define me – my strength, my resilience, and my ability to love and be loved are not measured in kilos.
As I navigate this journey, I understand that it's more than just dealing with the physical aspect of weight gain. It's about confronting the mental battle, the internal dialogue that is often more challenging than any diet or exercise regimen.
In the end, my message is one of self-compassion and understanding. We're all fighting our own battles, visible or not. So, before you offer that well-intentioned advice to someone about their weight, remember that there's often a deeper story, one that requires empathy, not just solutions.
As I continue to write my story, I hope it serves as a reminder that sometimes, the bravest thing you can do is to simply be yourself, in a world that constantly tries to weigh you down with expectations and ideals. My journey is more than the kilos I carry; it's a testament to living authentically and loving oneself, through every twist and turn life throws your way.
