Navigating Emotional Turmoil Before Christmas: My Perspective on Family, Health, and Cultural Responsibility #FUCK

The holiday season often conjures images of joy, togetherness, and celebration. However, for those grappling with overwhelming personal and family crises, it can be a time filled with sorrow, uncertainty, and emotional exhaustion. This Christmas, my family faces an unprecedented series of hardships, leaving us emotionally and spiritually drained. Multiple loved ones are battling severe health issues, and our Papua New Guinean (PNG) cultural responsibilities weigh heavily on us as we navigate these challenges.

A Season Overshadowed by Heartache

Christmas is meant to be a time of joy, but how can one celebrate while carrying the burden of so much pain? My emotions swing wildly—from hope to despair, from love to anger, and from faith to doubt. Each new crisis feels like another devastating blow, forcing me to support my family while processing my own grief and fear.

On one hand, I find myself leaning into science, analysing diagnoses and treatments in search of logic and solutions. On the other hand, my cultural beliefs lead me to question whether unseen forces are influencing our family’s struggles. This internal conflict adds yet another layer of complexity to an already difficult situation.

The Importance of Family in my Culture

For me, family is the cornerstone of life. Relationships extend far beyond the immediate household, forming a network of support and obligation that binds us all. When a family member is ill, everyone rallies together, offering care, prayer, and physical presence. This sense of shared responsibility is central to the concept of wanbel—a unity of heart and mind.

When my cousin Charlie was diagnosed with stage 4 brain cancer after collapsing unexpectedly, our entire family was shaken. The question of where he should spend his final days—at home surrounded by loved ones or in a hospital with access to medical care—became a source of deep reflection. In PNG, the preference is often to remain at home, where the emotional and spiritual bonds of family can provide comfort. However, the reality of medical needs often complicates this decision.

Another blow came when my cousin Jane suffered a severe fall and had to be airlifted to Townsville for emergency brain surgery. After being placed in a coma and showing no brain activity, our family faced the unimaginable decision of removing her from life support. Our faith in miracles often runs deep, and the possibility of a miraculous recovery lingers in everyone’s minds. The fear of the unknown only makes these moments more agonising.

Cultural Obligations and Workplace Understanding

In times of crisis, cultural obligations demand presence and participation. It is not simply a choice; it is a duty deeply rooted in our identity. Employers must recognise that employees from cultures like ours face unique pressures during family emergencies. Flexible policies that allow for family care and emotional recovery are not only compassionate but essential for fostering a respectful and inclusive workplace.

When my uncle Joe went into the hospital with what seemed to be a minor issue, our family mobilised. What began as a sore leg quickly escalated to a life-threatening situation involving heart failure, multiple infections, and kidney issues that required dialysis. Each step of his journey—from ICU to the renal ward—was met with family support. In these moments, being physically present is not optional; it is a cultural imperative.

The Weight of Medical Crises

The past 45 days have been a relentless series of challenges for my family. My father, who has been battling leukemia for four years, faced a new complication when his oral chemotherapy caused fluid to build up in his lungs. Struggling to breathe, he was rushed to the emergency department by my sister. Watching someone you love fight for their life is a harrowing experience, leaving scars that linger long after the crisis has passed.

These events leave me emotionally torn. On one hand, I try to approach each situation logically, understanding the medical facts. On the other, I cannot help but wonder if our family’s recent hardships are connected to deeper cultural or spiritual forces. This blend of modern understanding and traditional beliefs is a hallmark of life in PNG, but it can make the weight of each crisis feel even heavier.

A Call to Action: Prioritise Your Health

Amid this storm of emotions, one thing becomes clear: the importance of proactive health care. To my family, friends, and community and you reading my blog, I urge you—schedule a check-up with your doctor. Have your bloodwork done, test your urine, ensure your vaccinations are current, and discuss any lingering health concerns. Early detection and prevention are key to protecting both yourself and your loved ones.

Health crises like those that have affected Charlie, Jane, Uncle Joe, and my father often strike without warning. By taking preventative measures, we can reduce the likelihood of sudden emergencies and give ourselves a fighting chance to address health issues before they become critical.

Finding Resilience Through Togetherness

Even in the face of so much pain, the strength of our family and cultural values provides a beacon of hope. We grieve together, support one another, and share the burden of decision-making. While the challenges we face are daunting, they are met with the collective resilience that defines us as Papua New Guineans.

This Christmas, the joy of the season feels distant, but the true meaning of the holiday—love, compassion, and unity—shines through in our shared struggles. Though the path ahead remains uncertain, we face it together with unwavering hope for better days.

We Are What We Eat: A Conversation About Weight Loss for Men

The other week, I found myself in a conversation with two of the most important men in my life—my cousin Scott and my boyfriend Ryan. We were casually chatting about health and fitness when the topic turned to weight loss. Scott had been hitting the home gym hard, while my man had started cutting out takeaways during the week. The conversation took a deeper turn when I said, “We are what we eat.” That simple statement struck a chord with all of us.

The question was obvious: What exactly should men eat to lose weight? Inspired by our chat, I decided to dive into some research. Below are the results I found, including what to eat, why it works, and how to prepare these foods to maximise their benefits.

• Spinach

  Why It’s Good for Men

  • Rich in iron, which supports energy levels.

  • High in magnesium, important for muscle function and testosterone production.

  • Contains antioxidants like lutein, which supports eye health.

  Best Way to Cook

  • Steaming: Retains most nutrients, especially water-soluble ones like vitamin C and B vitamins.

  • Sautéing: Lightly cook spinach in olive oil with garlic to enhance its flavour and improve absorption of fat-soluble vitamins.

  Tips: Avoid overcooking as it can reduce nutrient content. Spinach shrinks significantly when cooked, so a large handful will provide a good serving of nutrients.on text goes here

• Sweet Potatoes

  Why It’s Good for Men

  • Packed with complex carbohydrates for sustained energy.

  • High in beta-carotene, which converts to vitamin A for immune support and skin health.

  • Contains potassium, which helps regulate blood pressure.

  Best Way to Cook

  • Roasting: Bake slices or cubes at 200°C (400°F) with a drizzle of olive oil to enhance beta-carotene absorption.

  • Steaming: Retains more nutrients compared to boiling while maintaining a soft texture.

  • Air Frying: A lower-fat alternative to frying, offering a crispy texture with minimal oil.

  Tips: Pair with a healthy fat like avocado or olive oil to maximise the absorption of vitamin A.

• Fatty Fish (Salmon, Mackerel, Tuna)

  Why It’s Good for Men

  • High in omega-3 fatty acids, which support heart health and reduce inflammation.

  • Excellent source of vitamin D, important for testosterone production and bone health.

  • Rich in protein for muscle repair and maintenance.

  Best Way to Cook

  • Grilling: Locks in flavour and preserves omega-3s while keeping the fish moist.

  • Baking: Cook at moderate heat (180°C/350°F) with herbs and lemon to enhance flavour without overcooking.

  • Steaming: Retains moisture and nutrients without the need for added fats.

  Tips: Avoid frying, as high heat can degrade omega-3s. Add a squeeze of lemon after cooking for added vitamin C and flavour.

• Eggs

  Why It’s Good for Men

  • Rich in high-quality protein for muscle growth and repair.

  • Contains choline, essential for brain health and liver function.

  • Loaded with vitamins B12 and D, supporting energy and hormone health.

  Best Way to Cook

  • Poaching: Retains the most nutrients as it avoids added fats and excessive heat.

  • Boiling: A simple method that keeps all nutrients intact.

  • Scrambling: Use a non-stick pan with minimal oil or butter to avoid unnecessary fats.

  Tips: Pair with leafy greens or whole-grain toast for a balanced, nutrient-packed meal.

• Broccoli

  Why It’s Good for Men

  • High in sulforaphane, a compound linked to reducing the risk of certain cancers, including prostate cancer.

  • Contains fibre, aiding digestion and weight management.

  • Rich in vitamin C for immune support and collagen production.

  Best Way to Cook

  • Steaming: Retains sulforaphane and water-soluble vitamins.

  • Roasting: Adds a nutty flavour when cooked at 200°C (400°F) with a drizzle of olive oil and a sprinkle of pepper.

  • Stir-Frying: Quick cooking with a splash of oil helps retain nutrients while adding texture.

  Tips: Avoid boiling, as it can leach sulforaphane and other nutrients into the water.

• Nuts and Seeds (Walnuts, Almonds, Chia, Flaxseed)

  Why It’s Good for Men

  • High in healthy fats like omega-3s, which support brain health and reduce inflammation.

  • Provide zinc, which supports testosterone production.

  • Contain fibre, promoting heart health and satiety.

  Best Way to Consume

  • Raw or Toasted: Light toasting enhances flavour without destroying nutrients.

  • Blended: Use ground flaxseeds or chia seeds in smoothies or sprinkle them over oatmeal or salads.

  • Nut Butters: Ensure they’re natural with no added sugars or oils.

  Tips: Avoid over-roasting, as high heat can degrade the healthy fats.

• Berries (Blueberries, Strawberries, Raspberries)

  Why It’s Good for Men

  • Packed with antioxidants, particularly anthocyanins, which reduce inflammation and oxidative stress.

  • High in fibre, supporting digestion and weight management.

  • Provide natural sweetness, reducing cravings for processed sugars.

  Best Way to Prepare

  • Raw: Enjoy fresh as a snack to retain all nutrients.

  • Blended: Use in smoothies with a base like unsweetened almond milk or yoghurt.

  • Baking: Add to whole-grain muffins or pancakes for a nutrient-dense treat.

  Tips: Store berries in the fridge to keep them fresh, and wash just before eating.

• Lean Meats (Chicken Breast, Turkey)

  Why It’s Good for Men

  • High in protein, essential for muscle maintenance and weight loss.

  • Low in saturated fat compared to red meats, supporting heart health.

  Best Way to Cook

  • Grilling: Locks in flavour without adding extra fat.

  • Baking: Cook at moderate heat with herbs and spices to add flavour without calories.

  • Stir-Frying: Use minimal oil and add lots of vegetables for a balanced meal.

  Tips: Avoid breading or deep-frying, as this adds unnecessary calories and fats.

• Avocados

  Why It’s Good for Men

  • Rich in monounsaturated fats, supporting heart and hormone health.

  • Contains potassium, which helps regulate blood pressure.

  • High in fibre, aiding digestion and promoting satiety.

  Best Way to Prepare

  • Raw: Mash onto whole-grain toast or dice into salads.

  • Blended: Add to smoothies for a creamy texture.

  • Grilled: Slice in half and grill lightly for a smoky flavour.

  Tips: Combine with tomatoes, olive oil, and lime for a simple and nutrient-packed guacamole.

• Beetroot

  Why It’s Good for Men

  • High in nitrates, which improve blood flow and athletic performance.

  • Rich in antioxidants like betalains, which reduce inflammation.

  • Supports heart health by lowering blood pressure.

  Best Way to Cook

  • Roasting: Roast beetroot at 200°C (400°F) to bring out its natural sweetness while preserving nutrients.

  • Boiling or Steaming: Boil or steam until tender, which retains most of the nitrates.

  • Blending: Add raw beetroot to smoothies for a nutrient-packed drink.

  Tips: Pair with a source of healthy fat, like olive oil, to enhance absorption of fat-soluble antioxidants. Use beetroot juice before workouts for a natural energy boost.

• Greek Yoghurt

  Why It’s Good for Men

  • High in protein, which aids muscle repair and growth.

  • Rich in calcium, important for bone health.

  • Contains probiotics that support gut health and digestion.

  Best Way to Prepare

  • As Is: Enjoy plain, unsweetened Greek yoghurt as a snack or meal base.

  • With Toppings: Add berries, nuts, or seeds for added nutrients and texture.

  • Smoothies: Blend into smoothies to boost protein and creaminess.

  Tips: Opt for full-fat or low-fat varieties without added sugars. Use it as a healthier alternative to sour cream or mayonnaise in recipes.

• Mushrooms

  Why It’s Good for Men

  • Rich in selenium, which supports immune health and acts as an antioxidant.

  • High in vitamin D when exposed to sunlight, which supports testosterone production and bone health.

  • Contains beta-glucans, which support immune function.

  Best Way to Cook

  • Sautéing: Cook mushrooms over medium heat with olive oil or butter to retain their earthy flavour and nutrients.

  • Roasting: Roast with garlic and thyme at 200°C (400°F) for a caramelised finish.

  • Grilling: Portobello mushrooms can be grilled as a meat substitute.

  Tips: Store mushrooms in a paper bag to keep them fresh. Choose UV-exposed mushrooms for an extra dose of vitamin D.

• Lentils

  Why It’s Good for Men

  • High in plant-based protein and iron, supporting energy and muscle health.

  • Rich in fibre, promoting digestive health and prolonged satiety.

  • Contains complex carbohydrates, providing long-lasting energy.

  Best Way to Cook

  • Boiling: Cook lentils in water or broth until tender. They do not require soaking like beans.

  • Soups and Stews: Add to soups or curries for a hearty, protein-rich meal.

  • Salads: Use cooked lentils as a base for salads with fresh vegetables and a light dressing.

  Tips: Rinse lentils thoroughly before cooking to remove debris. Combine with citrus or vinegar to enhance iron absorption.

• Dark Chocolate (70% Cocoa or Higher)

  Why It’s Good for Men

  • High in flavanols, which improve blood flow and heart health.

  • Contains magnesium, which supports muscle and nerve function.

  • A healthier way to satisfy sweet cravings.

  Best Way to Prepare

  • As Is: Enjoy a small piece as a snack or dessert.

  • Melting: Use melted dark chocolate as a dip for fruits like strawberries or bananas.

  • Baking: Add to homemade protein bars or muffins for a nutritious treat.

  Tips: Look for dark chocolate with minimal added sugar. Limit portions to 20–30g to enjoy benefits without overloading on calories.

• Red Capsicum

  Why It’s Good for Men

  • Extremely high in vitamin C, supporting immune health and collagen production.

  • Contains beta-carotene, which supports eye and skin health.

  • Low in calories, making them great for weight loss.

  Best Way to Cook

  • Raw: Enjoy fresh in salads or as crunchy snacks with hummus.

  • Roasting: Roast at 200°C (400°F) to bring out their natural sweetness.

  • Sautéing: Lightly cook in olive oil to preserve crunch and nutrients.

  Tips: Pair with foods high in healthy fats, like avocado or olive oil, to enhance absorption of fat-soluble vitamins.

• Lean Beef

  Why It’s Good for Men

  • Excellent source of iron and zinc, important for testosterone production and immune health.

  • High in B vitamins, supporting energy metabolism.

  • Contains creatine, which aids in muscle performance.

  Best Way to Cook

  • Grilling: Locks in flavour and preserves nutrients without adding extra fat.

  • Pan-Searing: Use a non-stick pan and cook over medium heat to seal juices.

  • Slow Cooking: Tenderises lean cuts while preserving nutrients.

  Tips: Choose grass-fed beef for higher levels of omega-3 fatty acids and conjugated linoleic acid (CLA), which may support fat loss.

• Walnuts

  Why It’s Good for Men

  • High in omega-3 fatty acids, which support brain health and reduce inflammation.

  • Contains antioxidants that combat oxidative stress.

  • Provides protein and fibre, promoting fullness and muscle repair.

  Best Way to Consume

  • Raw: Eat as a snack or add to salads.

  • Toasted: Lightly toast for enhanced flavour without compromising nutrients.

  • Blended: Add to smoothies or sprinkle over yoghurt and oatmeal.

  Tips: Store walnuts in the fridge to prevent their healthy fats from turning rancid.

• Garlic

  Why It’s Good for Men

  • Contains allicin, which has been shown to lower blood pressure and improve circulation.

  • Boosts immune health with its antimicrobial properties.

  • May support testosterone production.

  Best Way to Cook

  • Raw: Crush or chop garlic and let it sit for 10 minutes before cooking to maximise allicin content.

  • Roasting: Roast whole cloves at 180°C (350°F) for a sweeter, milder flavour.

  • Sautéing: Lightly cook in olive oil to retain flavour and some health benefits.

  Tips: Combine garlic with healthy fats like olive oil or avocados to enhance nutrient absorption.

The Takeaway

After diving into the science of nutrition, I’ve realised that losing weight isn’t just about cutting calories—it’s about choosing foods that work for you, not against you. Scott, Ryan, and I agreed to make some changes together, swapping out processed snacks for whole foods and experimenting with these cooking methods.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that the saying “we are what we eat” couldn’t be more accurate. For men looking to lose weight, the focus should be on lean proteins, whole grains, veggies, healthy fats, fruits, and legumes. By choosing these nutrient-dense foods and preparing them the right way, we’re not just shedding kilos—we’re building a healthier, stronger foundation for life.

So, here’s to progress! Let’s eat better, feel better, and become the best versions of ourselves.

Have your own tips for weight loss? Drop them in the comments below—I’d love to hear them!

Here are references supporting the information provided above:

1. National Health and Medical Research Council. (2013). Australian Dietary Guidelines. Canberra: National Health and Medical Research Council.

   • This comprehensive guideline offers evidence-based recommendations on the types and amounts of foods Australians should consume to promote health and well-being.

     Eat for Health

2. Australian Government Department of Health and Aged Care. (2019). The Australian Dietary Guidelines.

   • This publication provides up-to-date advice about the amount and kinds of foods needed for health and well-being, based on scientific evidence.

     Health.gov.au

3. Australian Government Department of Health and Aged Care. (2023). Overweight and Obesity.

   • This resource discusses the prevalence of overweight and obesity in Australia and provides guidelines for healthy eating and physical activity.

     Health.gov.au

4. National Health and Medical Research Council. (2013). Australian Dietary Guidelines Summary.

   • This summary document highlights the key recommendations from the Australian Dietary Guidelines, focusing on healthy eating patterns and nutrient intake.

     Eat for Health

5. National Health and Medical Research Council. (2013). Australian Dietary Guidelines.

   • This guideline provides information on the types and amounts of foods, food groups, and dietary patterns that aim to promote health and well-being.

     NHMRC

These references offer detailed insights into healthy eating patterns, nutrient-dense foods, and appropriate cooking methods to maximise nutritional benefits.

Saying Goodbye to Aunty Vera: A Tale of Love, Sass, and Cultural Farewells

In the tapestry of life, each thread is woven with moments of joy, sorrow, laughter, and tears, creating a mosaic as rich and complex as the human experience itself. Today, I find myself reflecting on one particularly vibrant thread, a strand that added not just colour but a profound depth to the fabric of my life—my Aunty Vera. Her passing has left a void, a stark reminder of the fragility of life and the enduring strength of love.

Aunty Vera was not your typical aunt; she was a force of nature, imbued with a sass that could light up the darkest of rooms. Our relationship was unique, marked by jests, laughter, and an unspoken understanding that beneath our banter lay a deep well of mutual respect and affection. She had a way of turning the mundane into the magical, infusing every interaction with her indomitable spirit.

As I prepare to head to her house, a place now transformed into a sacred space of mourning and remembrance, I am reminded of the cultural protocols that guide us Papua New Guineans in our farewell to those we hold dear. The body, though now a mere vessel, is treated with the utmost respect and care, a testament to the life once lived and the soul that touched so many. These moments, gathered around her in both silence and song, are not just rituals; they are bridges connecting the past, present, and future, weaving the essence of Aunty Vera into the stories that will be told and retold.

In the midst of this profound farewell, a truth resonates with a clarity that pierces the veil of grief: the importance of expressing love to those we cherish. Life, with all its unpredictability, waits for no one. The moments we have are fleeting, making it all the more crucial to shed the weight of resentment, to navigate the complexities of human relationships with honesty, and to allow space for healing.

Telling those close to us that we love them, in spite of and because of everything, is perhaps the most courageous thing we can do. It's a recognition of our shared humanity, an acknowledgement of the imperfections that make us who we are. Aunty Vera taught me that it's okay to be angry, to feel frustrated, and to wrestle with the myriad emotions that define our existence. But in the end, love—the kind that is loud, unabashed, and unyielding—must be the anchor that grounds us.

As we say our final goodbyes, surrounded by the warmth of friends and family, united in our grief and our love for Aunty Vera, I am reminded of the indelible mark she has left on each of our lives. Her laughter, her sass, and her unwavering spirit will continue to inspire us, a beacon of light guiding us through the darkest of times.

So, as I stand on the threshold of farewell, I carry with me the lessons of love, resilience, and the power of human connection. Let us not wait for tomorrow to express our affection, to mend bridges, and to celebrate the beautiful complexity of our relationships. In honouring Aunty Vera, let us also honour the love that binds us, the memories that sustain us, and the shared journey that continues beyond the confines of this mortal coil.

How to Support a Friend in a Toxic Relationship: A Guide to Offering Help and Hope

In the intricate tapestry of human relationships, supporting a friend entangled in a toxic and isolating partnership is a delicate endeavour. When someone we care about is caught in the throes of a detrimental relationship, our instinct is to protect and rescue them. However, the path to assistance is nuanced, requiring empathy, patience, and respect for their autonomy. Here's a guide on how to offer meaningful support to a friend in such a challenging situation.

Understand the Situation

First and foremost, it's essential to fully understand the dynamics at play. Toxic relationships are complex and can involve a range of abusive or manipulative behaviours that make leaving difficult. Recognise that your friend may be experiencing a mix of emotions, including love, fear, guilt, and a diminished sense of self-worth. It's important to approach the situation without judgement, acknowledging the difficulty of their position.

Listen and Validate

Offer your friend a safe space to express their thoughts and feelings. Active listening — where you listen to understand, rather than respond — can be incredibly powerful. Validate their feelings by acknowledging the pain and confusion they may be experiencing. Avoid criticising their partner, as this can often lead to defensiveness and could isolate your friend further. Instead, focus on your friend's feelings and experiences.

Empower Them

Empowering your friend is crucial. People in toxic relationships often feel powerless and lack confidence in their ability to make decisions. Help them recognise their strengths and remind them of their worth. Encourage them to think about their needs and what they truly want from a relationship. However, resist the urge to make decisions for them or pressure them into action before they are ready.

Offer Practical Support

Offering practical support can range from researching support services and therapists to simply being there to accompany them to appointments. If they decide to leave the relationship, they may need assistance with housing, legal advice, or financial support. Be clear about the type of support you can offer, whether it's emotional, practical, or both.

Encourage Professional Help

Professional support can be invaluable for someone trying to navigate their way out of a toxic relationship. Encourage your friend to seek the help of a therapist or counsellor who specialises in relationship issues. If the situation involves abuse, providing information on local domestic violence services and hotlines can be a crucial step.

Respect Their Journey

It's important to respect your friend's timeline. Leaving a toxic relationship is a process that can take time. There may be setbacks and moments of reconciliation with their partner. Continue to offer your support without judgement, understanding that your friend needs to make decisions in their own time.

Take Care of Yourself

Supporting a friend through such a difficult time can be emotionally draining. It's important to look after your own well-being, too. Set boundaries to protect your mental health, and consider seeking support for yourself, whether from other friends, family, or a professional.

Someone very special to me will soon enter a new chapter, and I will be by her side as she transitions.

Helping a friend in a lonely and toxic relationship is about providing a balance of emotional support, practical assistance, and empowering them to see their own worth and strength. It's a journey that requires patience, understanding, and care for both your friend and yourself. Remember, you can't "rescue" your friend, but you can stand by them, offering support as they navigate their path to a healthier, happier life.

I love you!

Navigating Through Shadows: Reflections on Love, Loss, and the Spaces Between

In the intricate dance of life and death, we often find ourselves swaying between moments of profound connection and the stark reality of loss. My name is Eddie Solien, and today, I'm navigating this delicate balance as I face the impending loss of my Aunty, who is currently in palliative care at home. This journey, marked by the presence of severe heart conditions and a tapestry of health challenges in my own life, has profoundly shaped my understanding of strength, resilience, and the power of human connection.

Living with heart failure, left ventricle dysfunction, atrial fibrillation, Auto Immune Pancreatitis, and Type 2 Diabetes, I've become intimately familiar with the fragility of health. Yet, it's in the context of my Aunty's battle with cancer that I find myself confronting the fragility of life itself. Cancer, with its indiscriminate cruelty, has a way of overshadowing the vibrancy of the human spirit. Yet, even as it casts a long shadow, it also illuminates the depth of our relationships and the resilience of our love.

I am not religious, but I am deeply spiritual. This spirituality does not provide easy answers or assurances; rather, it offers a lens through which to view our connections and our departures. It's in this spiritual space that I find the strength to stand beside my family, to support my cousins, and to be present in the pain, the laughter, and the memories that bind us together.

The anticipation of loss is a heavy burden, one made all the more challenging by the nature of waiting. Waiting for the inevitable, waiting for relief, waiting for the moment we must say goodbye. Yet, it's in this waiting that we also find moments of profound meaning and connection. True to my heritage and the communal spirit that defines both Torres Strait Islander and Papua New Guinean cultures, I turn to the act of making food as a way to relieve stress and to express my love and support. Cooking becomes a meditative act, a way to nourish the body and the soul amidst the heartache.

My relationship with my Aunty has always been one of playful banter and deep mutual respect. We give each other so much grief, yet beneath the surface of our teasing lies an unbreakable bond of affection and understanding. It's a relationship that exemplifies the complexity of love – the ability to laugh together even in the face of pain, to support each other through every challenge, and to cherish the moments of joy amidst the sorrow.

Cancer fucking sucks. It's a stark reminder of our mortality and the impermanence of our existence. Yet, it also serves as a poignant reminder of what truly matters – the connections we forge, the love we share, and the impact we have on each other's lives. As I navigate through this difficult time, I am reminded of the importance of being there for one another, of holding space for grief and for healing, and of celebrating the lives of those we love, even as we prepare to let them go.

In this journey through the shadows, I am learning that the essence of spirituality lies in our capacity to love deeply, to support unwaveringly, and to cherish the moments of light that shine through the darkness. As I stand beside my Aunty and my family, I am reminded that, in the end, it's the love we share that endures, transcending the boundaries of life and death.

Navigating Identity and History in Unceded Australia

Hello, my name is Eddie Solien. In the intricate tapestry of my life, there are threads that are vividly coloured by my identity, health, and the history of the land I call home. As a person living with severe heart conditions like heart failure with left ventricle dysfunction and atrial fibrillation, coupled with Auto Immune Pancreatitis and Type 2 Diabetes, every day is a testimony to resilience. But beyond the personal health battles, my identity as a member of the LGBTIQA+ community and my heritage as a Torres Strait Islander and Papua New Guinean immerse me in a deeper narrative – one that involves living in Australia, a country where the sovereignty of its First Peoples was never ceded.

Australia, a land of stunning natural beauty and diverse cultures, also bears a history that is often untold or glossed over. It's a history marked by colonisation, where the rights and existence of First Nations people were, and in many aspects continue to be, overshadowed by the pursuit of building a new nation. This pursuit, tragically, involved strategies and actions that led to the immeasurable loss of lives and cultures – a dark phase aimed at eradicating an entire race.

Living in Australia, with this acute awareness of our unceded sovereignty, is a complex experience. It's about walking on land that carries the weight of unsung histories, of cultures that thrived long before colonisers set foot here. It's about recognising that the society we live in today, often praised for its diversity and progress, was built on foundations where equity was non-existent for its original inhabitants.

The history of First Nations peoples is not just a tale of dispossession and pain; it's also a story of unyielding resilience and survival against incredible odds. It's about communities that have withstood the impact of policies and actions meant to erase their existence. This resilience is not just part of my heritage; it resonates deeply with my personal journey of battling severe health conditions. In both narratives, there's a common thread of fighting against the odds, of striving to survive and thrive in environments that are not always conducive to our wellbeing.

As I navigate my daily life, I am constantly reminded of the broader struggle for equity and recognition in a society that is still coming to terms with its past. The fight for First Nations peoples rights in Australia is far from over. It's a continuous journey of seeking justice, restoring what was lost, and most importantly, ensuring that the voices and stories of First Nations peoples are heard and valued.

Living in Australia as someone who identifies with its First Peoples is to live a life of duality. It's to embrace the beauty and opportunities this land offers while also being acutely aware of its painful history. It's about celebrating the survival and vibrancy of Indigenous cultures while also acknowledging the work that still needs to be done to achieve true equity and recognition.

As I look to the future, I am filled with a sense of hope and determination. Hope that Australia will continue to grow in its understanding and appreciation of its First Nations heritage. Determination to contribute to this growth, to ensure that the story of Australia's First Peoples is not just a chapter in history books but a living, thriving part of our national identity.

In sharing my story, I invite others to reflect on their own place in this narrative. To understand that while we cannot change the past, we can all play a role in shaping a future where equity, respect, and recognition are not just ideals but realities for all Australians. My name is Eddie Solien, and this is my perspective on living in a country where sovereignty was never ceded – a perspective shaped by my heritage, my health, and my hope for a better tomorrow.

Beyond Australia Day – A Stand for Equity and Recognition

Hello, I'm Eddie Solien, and today I want to talk about a topic that weighs heavily on my heart – Australia Day. As a proud member of the LGBTIQA+ community who identifies as both Torres Strait Islander and Papua New Guinean, I carry a complex history that intertwines with the narrative of this nation. My life is also defined by my battle with severe heart conditions and chronic illnesses, which, in many ways, mirror the struggles for recognition and equity I face in other areas of my life.

Australia Day, for many, is a day of national pride and celebration. However, for me and many others, it's a day that evokes a profound sense of discomfort and pain. This day, often referred to as 'Invasion Day' or 'Survival Day' by First Nations communities, marks a history of colonisation, suffering, and the beginning of an ongoing struggle for rights and recognition. It's a day that commemorates a past that tore apart the lives of black fellaz – a past that saw their sovereignty ignored and rights trampled upon.

The notion of celebrating on a day that signifies such loss and ongoing trauma is inconceivable to me. It's not about rejecting Australia or its people; it's about acknowledging the truths of our history and the impact it continues to have on First Nations communities. Sovereignty was never ceded, and the fight for true equity and recognition remains a pivotal issue.

In my professional life, advocating for equity has been both a challenge and a passion. Navigating a career while fighting for what's right often places me in difficult situations, where I have to balance professional obligations with my commitment to social justice. It's about having those tough conversations, challenging deep-rooted norms, and continuously pushing against a tide of complacency and resistance.

Fighting for equity means advocating for a society where everyone, regardless of their background, identity, or health status, has an equal opportunity to succeed and be heard. It's about dismantling the structures that perpetuate inequality and creating spaces that are inclusive and respectful of all histories and experiences.

This year on Australia Day, while many will be celebrating, I will be working, choosing to swap this disgusting public holiday for another day of significance. It's a small, personal act of protest and reflection. A day where I choose to remember and honour the history and ongoing struggles this countries First Peoples.

So, as Australia Day rolls around, I ask you, "What will you be doing?" Will you be celebrating, reflecting, or perhaps re-evaluating what this day means to you? For me, Eddie Solien, it's a day to reaffirm my commitment to the fight for justice, recognition, and equity – not just on this day but every day.

A Year of Challenges and Triumphs 2k23

As I sit at my computer desk staring at the screen, reflecting on the whirlwind that was this past year, I can't help but wonder about the delicate balance of life's trials and triumphs. I'm Eddie Solien, navigating a life filled with complex health issues like severe heart failure, left ventricle dysfunction, and a myriad of other conditions that sound more like a medical encyclopaedia entry than facets of my everyday life. And yet, amid the chaos of doctor's appointments and medical jargon, I've managed to carve out a career success story that even I sometimes find hard to believe.

But let's talk about the heart of the matter, and I don't mean just my own medically fascinating one. I'm talking about love, support, and the kind of partnership that novels are written about. Yes, this year has been hard, punctuated by health setbacks that would make anyone's head spin. However, it's also been a year where I've seen my goals at work not just reached but soared past, all thanks to a resilience I've fostered within myself and the unwavering support of my remarkable boyfriend, Ryan.

Ryan, with his strength and heart, has been more than a boyfriend; he's been my lighthouse in the stormiest of seas. We've had our share of disagreements – who doesn't? But through every tempest, Ryan has stood by me, not as a caretaker, but as a partner, a confidant, and my biggest cheerleader. In a world where relationships often crumble under far less pressure, Ryan and I have built something extraordinary. He treats me with the dignity, love, and respect that everyone deserves, never once making me feel like a patient in need of care, but rather a partner in every sense of the word.

Looking forward to 2024, I'm filled with an odd mixture of anticipation and serenity. It's as if the trials of the past year have prepared me for whatever lies ahead. I'm ready to make things happen, to continue setting and achieving goals, both personally and professionally, with Ryan by my side. Our relationship, much like the city around us, is ever-evolving, beautifully complex, and utterly real.

So, as I ponder over my life, much like Carrie Bradshaw contemplating love and life's many conundrums, I realise that the most significant discovery this year hasn't been a new treatment or a professional accolade. It's been the profound realisation of the power of partnership, resilience, and love. Here's to the past year of challenges and achievements, and to 2024, a year I step into with hope, determination, and the best sidekick anyone could ask for. My name is Eddie Solien, and this is just one chapter in my ongoing story.

My Greatest Ambition in Life: The Journey of Being Eddie Solien

Hi, I'm Eddie Solien. In a world that often feels like a whirlwind of expectations and labels, my greatest ambition is beautifully simple yet profoundly complex – to be me. My journey is interwoven with the challenges of living with severe heart failure, left ventricle dysfunction, atrial fibrillation with a 16% output reduction ejection fraction, Auto Immune Pancreatitis, and Type 2 Diabetes. Alongside these health battles, I embrace my identity as a proud member of the LGBTIQA+ community, and as someone who identifies with both Torres Strait Islander and Papua New Guinean heritage.

Being me is not just about the labels that society attaches to my health conditions or my cultural and sexual identity. It's about the intricate tapestry of experiences, emotions, and thoughts that make up who I am. From the therapist's perspective, the journey to self-acceptance and authenticity is often riddled with obstacles, internal conflicts, and societal pressures. But it's a journey worth embarking on.

In a world that often prescribes who we should be, living authentically as oneself is a courageous act. My health challenges, for instance, are not just medical conditions; they are part of my life story that shapes my resilience, my perspective, and my empathy. They teach me the value of each day and the importance of living in the present.

Similarly, my cultural and sexual identity layers add richness to my life. They bring with them a history of struggle, triumph, and a deep sense of community. Embracing these aspects of my identity has not always been easy. It has involved navigating societal norms, breaking stereotypes, and sometimes, battling internalised biases. But it has also been a journey of empowerment, self-discovery, and finding a community where I belong.

In essence, my ambition to be myself is about integrating all these aspects of my identity. It's about standing tall in my truth, with all its complexities and colours. It's about creating a space where my voice, experiences, and perspectives are valued. It's about breaking free from the shackles of ‘should be’ and stepping into the light of ‘simply am’.

As I continue this journey, I hope to inspire others to embrace their authentic selves. No matter how challenging the road may seem, the destination of self-acceptance and authenticity is a place of profound peace and joy. So here’s to being Eddie Solien – in all my complexity, resilience, and authenticity. My greatest ambition in life is to be me, and that is a mission I embrace wholeheartedly.

My Epiphany: Unravelling the Layers of Self-Discovery

Hello, I'm Eddie Solien. In the tapestry of my life, the threads of severe heart failure, left ventricle dysfunction, atrial fibrillation with a 16% output reduction ejection fraction, Auto Immune Pancreatitis, and Type 2 Diabetes weave a complex pattern. These health challenges, while daunting, form just one aspect of my story. As a proud member of the LGBTIQA+ community and someone who identifies with both Torres Strait Islander and Papua New Guinean heritage, my journey is a vibrant blend of identity, resilience, and self-discovery.

Living with multiple health conditions has been an unyielding rollercoaster, constantly testing my limits and teaching me the value of every breath. These medical battles have pushed me to confront my vulnerabilities and unearth strengths I never knew I had. They've taught me to find joy in the smallest of moments and to grasp the fragile nature of life with both hands.

But there's more to my story than my health. My cultural background as a Torres Strait Islander and Papua New Guinean is a rich tapestry of history and traditions. It's a part of me that connects me to a past filled with stories of endurance and hope. Embracing this heritage has been a journey in itself, one that has involved delving deep into the narratives of my ancestors and drawing strength from their resilience.

Additionally, navigating my sexual identity within the framework of my cultural heritage has been another significant chapter in my life. Finding my place in the LGBTIQA+ community, a space of acceptance and understanding, has given me the courage to be true to myself. It's in this community that I learned the power of love without barriers and the importance of standing against prejudice.

The most transformative part of my journey, however, has been the road to self-acceptance. It's been a path marked by introspection, challenges, and ultimately, a deep understanding of who I am. This journey hasn't been without its struggles. It's involved wrestling with inner doubts, societal pressures, and the daunting task of aligning the different facets of my identity into a cohesive whole.

The defining moment in all this has been looking in the mirror and fully embracing the person staring back. It was realizing that my worth isn't defined by my health conditions, nor is it anchored solely in my cultural identity or sexual orientation. I am a mosaic of all these experiences, each one playing a crucial role in shaping who I am.

Sharing my story is not just about narrating my life; it's about sending out a message of hope and authenticity. It's a testament to the fact that the journey of self-discovery, no matter how tumultuous, leads to a fulfilling destination. Embracing your true self, in all its complexity, is the ultimate liberation.

My story is a celebration of living unapologetically as my true self. For me the journey continues, with each day bringing new lessons and opportunities for growth. My greatest discovery through it all has been learning to live passionately and authentically as me, and that is a journey I cherish deeply.

Eddie Solien: Surviving Against the Odds and Navigating the Aftermath

Hello, I’m Eddie Solien. My life’s journey has been anything but ordinary, marked by intense battles against severe heart conditions and other health challenges, all while embracing my identity as a Torres Strait Islander, Papua New Guinean, and a proud member of the LGBTIQA+ community. A couple of years ago, I faced what was perhaps my most daunting challenge yet – a life-threatening pancreatic attack that landed me in ICU, teetering on the brink of life and death.

In the sterile, beeping confines of the ICU, I lay in septic shock and respiratory failure, with a 50/50 chance of survival. The situation was so dire that my partner Ryan and my sister Tammy were pulled aside by the ICU doctor for a harrowing conversation about end-of-life decisions. It was a moment that not only tested my physical resilience but also thrust my loved ones into an ocean of uncertainty and fear.

Why am I still here? That's a question that often lingers in my mind. Survival can sometimes feel like an enigma, especially when the odds are so evenly stacked. I believe my continued existence isn't just a stroke of luck or medical triumph; it's a testament to something deeper, an unyielding spirit perhaps, and a life that still has chapters to be written.

However, survival comes with its complexities. In the aftermath of such a traumatic event, the focus often remains on the patient, understandably so. But what of the silent, hidden trauma experienced by those who stand by, watching, waiting, and fearing the worst? Ryan and Tammy faced the unthinkable prospect of losing me, a trauma that doesn't just vanish with my recovery.

Trauma can manifest in numerous ways, often subtle and deeply personal. For Ryan and Tammy, it might be a lingering fear of loss, a heightened sense of anxiety whenever I face a health setback, or even a subconscious preparation for the worst. These are scars that don't show but are felt deeply.

To Ryan and Tammy: I'm sorry. Sorry that my journey has inadvertently become a source of pain for you. The path of a caregiver or a loved one of someone with chronic health issues is fraught with unsung challenges. It's a path of strength, yes, but also of hidden battles.

My story isn't just a tale of survival; it's a narrative about the resilience of not just one, but three souls intertwined by love, fear, and hope. It's about understanding and acknowledging that trauma isn't always where we expect to find it, and healing is a journey we take together. As I continue to navigate my health, I do so with a profound appreciation for the silent battles fought by those who love me, and with a commitment to support them as they have continually supported me.

@ 40: Reflecting on Leadership, Identity, and the Art of Receiving

Hi, I'm Eddie Solien. As I approach the significant milestone of turning 40, I find myself reflecting on what this age truly signifies. It's not just another year; it's a point of introspection in my rich and multifaceted journey. Living with severe heart failure, left ventricle dysfunction, atrial fibrillation with a 16% output reduction ejection fraction, Auto Immune Pancreatitis, and Type 2 Diabetes has been an integral part of my narrative. But so has been my identity as a proud Torres Strait Islander and Papua New Guinean member of the LGBTIQA+ community.

Turning 40 is more than a chronological marker; it's a moment to ponder over my journey so far and the paths yet to be taken. I've always prided myself on leading with integrity, regardless of age. My satisfaction comes from offering advice, whether it's related to people and culture, career guidance, advancing reconciliation for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islanders, or driving high-level KPIs for Diversity and Inclusion. I thrive on helping others navigate their paths, finding joy in their growth and success.

However, a recent therapy session led to a surprising self-discovery: I am hostile when it comes to receiving advice. This revelation made me pause and wonder: how can someone who is so adept at giving advice struggle with accepting it? It's a question that delves into the complex nature of human interactions and our psychological makeup. I want to be a better partner to my boyfriend, the love of my life. I recognise that my reaction to receiving advice, even from him, can sometimes come off as defensive, almost as if I perceive his help as an attack. This isn't just about being open to advice in general; it's about deepening the trust and connection in my most cherished relationship.

In a therapist's tone, one might say that the ability to give advice often stems from a place of control and expertise. It's a position of strength. However, receiving advice can sometimes feel like a challenge to our autonomy or an implication that we don't have all the answers. This can be particularly pronounced for someone who has had to constantly advocate for themselves in various aspects of life, from health to personal identity.

As I step into the fourth decade of my life, this newfound self-awareness poses a challenge and an opportunity. It's a chance to reframe my perspective on advice – not as a critique or an undermining of my capabilities, but as an avenue for growth and learning. Turning 40 could be the perfect catalyst for this shift in narrative, a time to embrace the wisdom that comes with age and experiences.

The journey of self-improvement and personal development is ongoing. As I celebrate this milestone, I am reminded that life is not just about imparting wisdom but also about being open to the lessons that others can teach us. It's about finding the balance between leading and listening, giving and receiving, teaching and learning. Here's to the next chapter – a chapter of growth, openness, continued resilience and nurturing the invaluable bond I share with my partner.

Navigating Love, Trust, and Health: A Heartfelt Journey

Hello, I'm Eddie Solien, a name that might not ring a bell, but a story that resonates with the struggles and triumphs of many. Living with severe heart failure, left ventricle dysfunction, atrial fibrillation with a 16% output reduction ejection fraction, not to mention grappling with Auto Immune Pancreatitis and Type 2 Diabetes, my life is a tapestry woven with the threads of health challenges. But there's more to my story. I am also a proud member of the LGBTIQA+ community, celebrating an eight-year committed relationship in 2023.

Amidst the whirlwind of health scares and societal labels, I've often pondered over the nuances of relationships, particularly in the context of trust and communication. The question that frequently arises in the back of my mind, like a nagging whisper, is: Is it okay to message other people when you're in a committed relationship, without the fear of infidelity?

Let's unravel this, shall we, in a manner that Carrie Bradshaw might muse over a Manhattan skyline.

In the modern tapestry of relationships, messaging others doesn't automatically signal a red flag for cheating. Relationships are not just about physical attraction – I still find my partner as sexy as ever – but about deeper foundations of trust and understanding. The key lies in communication, the bedrock of any relationship. It's about being open with your partner, sharing your fears, your joys, and yes, even the casual chats you might have with others.

Trust, after all, isn't about leashing each other or peering over shoulders. It's about believing in the strength of your bond, the unspoken understanding that no matter how many people enter your chat inbox, your heart is committed to that one special person.

In our community, where we've fought long and hard for acceptance and the freedom to love, trust takes on an even deeper hue. It's about supporting each other, understanding the battles each has fought – both within and outside. And amidst all this, if a casual conversation with someone outside your relationship happens, it's not a betrayal, unless it crosses the boundaries you and your partner have mutually set.

So, in the end, it all boils down to the individual contours of your relationship. Every relationship has its unique rhythm, its unwritten rules crafted by the two hearts beating in it. For me navigating this path of love, trust, and health, it's about balancing the nuances of my conditions with the warmth of a relationship built on understanding, laughter, and an unbreakable bond of trust.

As I continue my journey, with my partner by my side and a network of friends and acquaintances just a message away, I am reminded that life, in all its complexity, is a beautiful dance of relationships, health, and the enduring power of love.

My Heartfelt Struggle: More than a Number on the Scale

Hello there, I'm Eddie Solien. My life, much like a tapestry, is richly woven with complexities. I've been navigating the turbulent waters of severe heart failure with left ventricle dysfunction and atrial fibrillation, grappling with a 16% output reduction in ejection fraction, while also tackling Auto Immune Pancreatitis and Type 2 Diabetes. And if that wasn't enough, I'm also proudly part of the vibrant LGBTIQA+ community. Over the past seven years of living with heart failure, I've gained 60 kilos, and now, I find myself in the midst of an emotional and physical battle.

Let's talk about weight – a topic that seems to be everyone's favourite dinner conversation, particularly when it's not their own weight they're discussing. "Eat less, walk more, do this, do that," they say. But it's not as straightforward as it seems, especially when your heart is working overtime just to keep you breathing.

Gaining weight, particularly when it's related to health issues, is often viewed through a simplistic lens. But for me, it's been a journey of self-discovery, of feeling my emotions in a way I never did when I was lighter. This isn't just about the physical weight; it's about the emotional heaviness that comes with it. Every glance in the mirror, every unsolicited piece of advice, adds another layer to the emotional armour I've had to build.

In the same vein as Carrie Bradshaw might muse over her relationships with men, I find myself pondering my relationship with my body. It's a complicated love affair, marked by ups and downs, self-acceptance battles, and societal judgments. I've realised that the scale doesn't define me – my strength, my resilience, and my ability to love and be loved are not measured in kilos.

As I navigate this journey, I understand that it's more than just dealing with the physical aspect of weight gain. It's about confronting the mental battle, the internal dialogue that is often more challenging than any diet or exercise regimen.

In the end, my message is one of self-compassion and understanding. We're all fighting our own battles, visible or not. So, before you offer that well-intentioned advice to someone about their weight, remember that there's often a deeper story, one that requires empathy, not just solutions.

As I continue to write my story, I hope it serves as a reminder that sometimes, the bravest thing you can do is to simply be yourself, in a world that constantly tries to weigh you down with expectations and ideals. My journey is more than the kilos I carry; it's a testament to living authentically and loving oneself, through every twist and turn life throws your way.

Navigating Life with Heart Failure, Left Ventricle Dysfunction, Atrial Fibrillation, and a Reduced Ejection Fraction

For many, the terms "heart failure", "left ventricle dysfunction", and "atrial fibrillation" might sound like complex medical jargon. But for those who live with these conditions, especially with a significant 16% output reduction in ejection fraction, it's a daily journey of perseverance, challenges, and resilience. It's essential for both sufferers and their support networks to understand the profound impact these conditions have on daily life and the often silent battles faced.

Unravelling the Symptoms

Heart failure with left ventricle dysfunction is where the heart's left ventricle can't pump blood to the body efficiently. This dysfunction directly affects overall energy and well-being.

Atrial fibrillation (AF) is an irregular and often rapid heart rate, leading to reduced blood flow.

Having a 16% output reduction in ejection fraction means the heart pumps out only 16% less blood with each contraction than a healthy heart would. This is significant as the ejection fraction is a crucial measure of the heart's pumping efficiency.

Here are the primary symptoms of these combined conditions:

1. Shortness of breath: Particularly noticeable when lying down or exerting oneself.

2. Fatigue: A relentless feeling of tiredness makes even routine tasks seem overwhelming.

3. Swelling: Often seen in legs, ankles, and feet due to fluid build-up.

4. Rapid or irregular heartbeat: A direct result of the heart's reduced pumping ability and irregular rhythms.

5. Dizziness or light-headedness: The heart struggles to supply enough oxygenated blood to the brain.

6. Difficulty in physical exertion: Even modest activities can become monumental challenges.

The Silent Marathon

It's challenging for those unaffected to truly grasp the magnitude of living with these conditions. To some, a 2km walk might be a daily routine, but for those with these heart conditions, it's equivalent to tackling a strenuous 20km marathon. It's not a matter of laziness or lack of will; it's a genuine physiological challenge. Each movement, each breath taken, is a testament to an inner strength that many might not recognise.

Beyond Misconceptions

Before making hasty judgments, try living in my body for a day. It's crucial for society to move past superficial judgments. Labelling someone as 'lazy' due to their physical limitations not only undermines their struggle but also adds to their emotional burden. These conditions are not chosen, and the limitations they impose are not voluntary.

Finding Empathy and Support

Understanding is the first step towards empathy. Recognising the challenges faced by those with heart conditions can lead to more supportive interactions and relationships. Offering a helping hand or a listening ear can provide invaluable relief. The more we comprehend, the better equipped we are to offer the empathy and support that can make a world of difference to someone's daily life.

Heart conditions are not merely medical terms; they reflect the daily realities of many individuals. Through knowledge and empathy, we can contribute positively to their journey, celebrating their courage and resilience every step of the way.

Instead of offering advice or drawing on stereotypes, how about asking, “How are you feeling today?” or “What are your limitations today?” These questions display genuine concern and seek to understand rather than dictate. They allow the individual to express their feelings, which can be therapeutic in itself, and help the supporter better comprehend the daily challenges faced.

When Life Throws a Curveball: My Battle with Cardioversion, New Medication, and Keeping the Faith

Life, with all its unpredictability, often seems to have a quirky way of tossing challenges our way just when we least expect them. The past week has proven to be one such testament to my resilience, patience, and the age-old adage, "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger." As I write this, I'm nursing a cocktail of emotions that range from sheer frustration to hope. Let me take you on a journey of what it feels like when one's body appears to be in mutiny.

The Fickle Heartbeat

When you're diagnosed with a heart ailment that requires cardioversion, there's a silent prayer that goes up, hoping for a smooth procedure and speedy recovery. But, as Murphy's Law would have it, things didn't go according to plan for me. My cardioversion failed. The heart, a symbol of life and love, decided it wasn't ready to dance to the rhythm I so desperately hoped for.

Medication: The Necessary Evil

As a next step, I was prescribed new medication and increase dosages on others. Ah, the joy of adding more pills to the daily roster. But this one was unlike any other I'd been on. Within hours of taking it, I felt like death warmed up. It was as if every cell in my body was protesting, screaming out in dissent.

A Week in Hell

If the failed cardioversion and side effects of the new medication weren't enough, the universe decided to add salt to the wound. The next week was a blur of frequent trips to the bathroom, bouts of vomiting, and relentless diarrhoea. Every meal was a gamble, every sip of water felt like Russian roulette.

The physical turmoil was only half the story. Emotionally, I was a wreck. There were moments when life felt unbearably hard, and the phrase "I hate life" became a silent mantra.

Finding the Silver Lining

Yet, as I've always believed, even in our darkest moments, there's a glimmer of hope. Although it's been a tumultuous week, I've been trying to remain positive. There are moments when the weight of it all feels crushing, but then there are flashes of strength, resilience, and a quiet determination to rise above.

Honest conversations with close friends, moments of quiet reflection, and the simple act of writing this blog have been therapeutic. While the road to recovery seems arduous and long, I'm reminded of the countless stories of triumph over adversity.

The Journey Ahead

So, here I am, battered but not broken, challenged but not defeated. I'm learning to be patient with myself, to allow myself to grieve, to be angry, but also to find pockets of joy in the small moments. Life might suck right now, but I'm holding onto the belief that this too shall pass.

For all those reading this, battling your own demons, remember, it's okay to feel overwhelmed. It's okay to be vulnerable. Reach out, share your story, and know that even in the darkest times, there's always a flicker of light. And with time, that flicker grows into a blazing beacon of hope.

Stay strong and keep the faith.

Aligning Inner Compass: Authenticity, Values, and Occupational Harmony

Dear readers,

I'm Eddie Solien, and today, I bring my whole self to this conversation — a proud LGBTIQA+ member, a Torres Strait Islander deeply rooted in the heart of Badu Island, and someone who lives with the daily complexities of Severe Heart Failure, left ventricle dysfunction, Auto Immune Pancreatitis, and Type 2 Diabetes. Each element of my identity shapes my perception and my interactions with the world, influencing not just personal relationships but professional engagements as well.

In this discourse, I'd like to explore a fundamental yet intricate topic — the importance of being true to oneself, understanding one's core values, and how this profound self-awareness can guide us in aligning with roles or organisations that resonate with our authentic selves.

Being true to oneself isn't merely a philosophical concept. It's a psychological scaffold that supports our mental and emotional well-being. It involves recognising and embracing our values, beliefs, thoughts, and feelings — our internal compass. As Carl Rogers, one of the founding figures of humanistic psychology, posited, "The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change." This acceptance isn't static; it's the foundation upon which we understand our evolving selves.

Why, though, does this authenticity matter so much, especially in our professional lives?

Our values are intrinsic beliefs that guide our behaviours, judgments, and interactions. They're the heartbeats of our authentic selves. When we identify and stay true to our values, we experience a sense of fulfillment, purpose, and contentment. However, when our environments, especially our workplaces, clash with these values, it can lead to a state psychologists often refer to as 'cognitive dissonance' — a form of psychological stress caused by holding two or more contradictory beliefs, values, or attitudes.

Imagine working for a company that prizes competitiveness over collaboration if you deeply value teamwork and communal achievement. The chasm between personal values and organizational ethos can lead to diminished job satisfaction, reduced performance, and even burnout.

So, how do we navigate this?

Self-reflection

Engage in introspection to understand what you value most. Is it creativity, diversity, leadership, community? By identifying what's important to you, you can pursue roles and engage with companies that align with these values.

Research

Before applying for a role or accepting a job offer, research the company. What's their mission statement? What values do they espouse? What's the company culture like? Informational interviews and discussions with current or past employees can also provide insight.

Ask direct questions

During your job interviews, ask questions about the aspects you value. For instance, if you're passionate about diversity and inclusion, ask about the company's policies and initiatives in this area.

Value-based decision-making

Evaluate job offers and professional opportunities through the lens of your values. Sometimes, this might mean passing on a lucrative offer that doesn't align with your inner compass.

Continuous reassessment

As we grow, our values can evolve. Regularly reassess your professional environment and its alignment with your authenticity.

Embracing this journey requires courage — the courage to look inward, to question, to assess, and sometimes, to make tough decisions. Yet, the pursuit of professional environments that resonate with our inner selves isn't just beneficial for our mental health; it enhances our performance, job satisfaction, and overall well-being.

In the mosaic of our lives, each piece — personal, professional, cultural, sexual, health-related — is interconnected. Let's ensure that the picture it forms is one of authenticity, harmony, and true contentment.

Yours in self-discovery,

E

Bridging Hierarchies: The Psychology of Managerial Communication in the Workplace

Greetings, readers,

I'm Eddie Solien, and as I type this blog, I'm reminded of the diverse threads that interweave to form the tapestry of my identity — a fervent LGBTIQA+ advocate, a Torres Strait Islander with profound ties to Badu Island, and an individual who navigates life with Severe Heart Failure, left ventricle dysfunction, Auto Immune Pancreatitis, and Type 2 Diabetes. These experiences have not only sculpted my world view but also deeply influenced my interpersonal communications, particularly in professional settings.

Today, I'd like to delve into an often understated aspect of workplace dynamics — the importance of open communication with our managers and the unfounded apprehensions that frequently hinder such interactions.

The structure of most organisations places managers in roles of authority, making them key decision-makers and, often, our immediate points of contact for job-related concerns. However, a common psychological phenomenon that many employees encounter is a sense of intimidation or hesitation when it comes to engaging in dialogue with their superiors. This reticence can stem from various factors, including fear of negative consequences, a perceived power imbalance, or a workplace culture that doesn't actively encourage open communication.

Why is it crucial to overcome this barrier, and how does it tie into our psychological well-being?

Firstly, communication is foundational to our experience as social beings. It's through effective communication that we express our ideas, concerns, and feelings. In a professional context, open dialogue with management is essential for clarity, performance, job satisfaction, and emotional well-being. When employees feel heard and understood by their superiors, they are likely to experience higher job satisfaction and engagement, a concept supported by principles of organisational psychology.

Moreover, the traditional view of managerial roles is evolving. The contemporary workplace is gradually embracing the idea of 'servant leadership,' a philosophy wherein the leader's primary role is to serve the team, a significant shift from authoritative leadership styles. This model promotes a more balanced power dynamic, encouraging employees to voice their opinions, ideas, and concerns more freely.

So, how can we, as employees, foster this culture of open communication?

Understand Your Worth and recognise that your thoughts and opinions are valuable. Your unique experiences and perspectives can provide insights that are beneficial to the team and the organisation at large.

Cultivate Emotional Intelligence, why? It involves being attuned to one's emotions and empathetic to the emotions of others, a critical skill in navigating conversations with managers. It allows for constructive communication that takes into account mutual respect and understanding.

Prepare and Plan if you're apprehensive, preparation can be key. Organise your thoughts, anticipate possible responses, and plan your dialogue. This strategy can help alleviate anxiety regarding the interaction.

Seek Feedback and engage in active feedback sessions with your manager. Constructive feedback is a tool for growth and improvement, and being proactive about it demonstrates your commitment to personal and professional development.

Foster an Environment of Openness and encourage and participate in initiatives that promote transparent communication within the organisation. This approach contributes to a workplace culture that values and fosters open dialogue.

Practice Assertiveness because being assertive means expressing yourself effectively and standing up for your point of view while also respecting others' rights and beliefs. Assertiveness training, sometimes offered as professional development, can be particularly beneficial.

Open communication with management should not be an insurmountable hurdle. It's a two-way street that, when navigated effectively, can lead to enhanced professional relationships, personal job satisfaction, and a more harmonious workplace environment. Remember, leadership dynamics are not just top-down; they are bottom-up as well. Your voice is an essential echo in the symphony of organisational success.

To more open dialogues,

E

Navigating the Storm: Acknowledging and Managing Anxiety Amidst Chronic Illness

Hello, dear readers,

I'm Eddie Solien, and I come to you as a composite of experiences and identities — an LGBTIQA+ individual, a Torres Strait Islander with deep roots in Badu Island, and someone persistently grappling with the realities of living with Severe Heart Failure, left ventricle dysfunction, Auto Immune Pancreatitis, and Type 2 Diabetes. These chronic illnesses are not just physical burdens; they carry an emotional weight, often manifesting as overwhelming anxiety, an experience I'm intimately familiar with.

Today's narrative is a personal yet universally relevant one — it's about confronting the visceral reality of anxiety, particularly anxiety exacerbated by chronic health conditions, and understanding that it's okay to not be okay.

The sensations are all too familiar: the inexplicable sweating, the constriction in your chest making it hard to breathe, the relentless feeling of drowning under the weight of your own health. It's a state of vulnerability that can feel endless, and it's accompanied by an inner voice that persistently questions, "Is it truly okay to feel this way?"

Anxiety is a natural response to stress, a call to action when our mind perceives a threat. However, when dealing with chronic illness, the 'threat' is constant and internal, often leading to heightened and prolonged anxiety levels. This state isn't just emotionally taxing; it can also exacerbate physical symptoms, creating a cycle that feels impossible to break.

Yet, the first step towards navigating through this storm is acknowledgment. It's important, albeit difficult, to give yourself permission to feel your emotions in their entirety. There's a common misconception that acknowledging our struggles gives them power over us. In reality, the opposite is true. Recognition is a form of awareness, and awareness is the first step to empowerment.

So, is it okay to feel 'shit'? Absolutely. Your feelings are valid, and they matter because they're a reflection of the human experience, especially in the face of constant adversity like chronic illness. But it's also crucial to recognise when your mental health is spiralling, and to understand that there are strategies and resources available to help steady the ship….

§  Engaging with a psychologist or a counsellor can provide you with tools to manage anxiety. Therapeutic approaches like Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) can help you understand the patterns of your thoughts and feelings, and develop more balanced perspectives.

§  Connecting with others who live with chronic illnesses can provide a sense of community and understanding that friends and family, though well-meaning, may not fully provide.

§  Practices such as meditation, deep breathing exercises, and progressive muscle relaxation can help manage immediate anxiety symptoms, bringing a sense of calm and present-moment awareness.

§  Be kind to yourself. Chronic illness is a significant burden, and you're doing the best you can. Self-compassion involves treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding as you would treat a friend.

§  It's okay to say no to activities or engagements that you know will exacerbate your anxiety or physical symptoms. Preserving energy for healing and self-care is a priority.

§  Sometimes, anxiety and chronic illness can create a chasm between our experiences and those of our loved ones. Educating them about what you're going through can foster empathy and support within your personal relationships.

While it's okay to feel overwhelmed by the waves of anxiety and frustration that often accompany chronic illness, you're not bound to a raft amidst the storm. There are lifelines available — in the form of therapy, support systems, and self-care strategies. The journey may be tumultuous, and the waters may sometimes rise, but you're not sailing them alone.

With resilience,

E

The Weight of Expectations: Balancing Physical Health, Mental Well-being, and Social Pressures

Hello, readers,

It's Eddie Solien here, reaching out to you as a proud LGBTIQA+ member, a Torres Strait Islander deeply connected to Badu Island, and a person who daily confronts the challenges of living with Severe Heart Failure, left ventricle dysfunction, Auto Immune Pancreatitis, and Type 2 Diabetes. These conditions, while significantly physical, intersect with my mental and emotional domains in complex ways, especially when faced with societal and personal expectations of body image and health management.

Today, I wish to address a struggle that resonates deeply with me — the intense pressure to lose weight from those around us, the conflicting messages from our bodies, and the mental toll it takes, sometimes pushing us to the brink of wanting to give up.

The journey of weight management, especially amidst chronic health conditions, is a tightrope walk. On one side, there's the genuine need to maintain a certain weight for health reasons; on the other, the psychological strain caused by constant external pressure and our own internal battles. When you have a heart that sets limits on your physical exertions and a mind grappling with these restrictions, the incessant reminders, suggestions, or even offhand comments about weight can feel like an additional weight strapped to your shoulders.

Firstly, it's essential to recognise that these feelings of frustration and despair are valid. The disconnect between what your body can do, what your mind aspires towards, and what others expect from you can create a chasm that breeds hopelessness. However, from a psychological perspective, it's crucial to unpack these layered emotions and address each aspect with compassion and clarity.

Understanding Physical Limitations because living with conditions like Severe Heart Failure and other illnesses means acknowledging your body's unique needs and limitations. It's crucial to consult with healthcare professionals to understand what's safe and achievable for you. Remember, every body is different, and comparing your journey to others' can lead to unrealistic expectations.

Setting Personal Health Goals towards your health goals should be just that — personal. They should be set by you and your healthcare provider, grounded in your reality. Goals should be S.M.A.R.T (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound) and tailored to accommodate your physical and mental health needs.

Coping with External Pressure and fuck the societal fixation on weight can be overwhelming. It's vital to establish boundaries in conversations with friends and family. Communicate clearly about what is and isn't helpful for you. It's okay to express that constant focus on your weight is detrimental to your mental health.

Finding Support Systems away from friends and family and look for support groups, whether online or in person, that understand the complexities of managing weight with chronic health conditions. Peer support can provide comfort, understanding, and practical advice from those on similar journeys.

Mental Health Matters in weight management is not just a physical challenge; it's a mental one. Consider working with a psychologist to address feelings of despair or thoughts of giving up. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, for instance, can help you develop coping strategies and a more balanced view of your situation.

Self-Compassion is Key and really fucking try to practice self-compassion. You're doing your best, and that's enough. Chronic health conditions add a layer of difficulty to life that others might not recognise. Be kind to yourself in thoughts, words, and actions.

The journey through chronic illness and weight management is fraught with challenges, and the additional external pressures can sometimes feel insurmountable. However, remember that your worth is not defined by your weight, your illness, or others' opinions. Your journey is uniquely yours, deserving of respect and self-compassion. While the road may be long and winding, each step taken in self-awareness and self-respect is a leap towards holistic well-being.

In solidarity,

E