@ 40: Reflecting on Leadership, Identity, and the Art of Receiving
Hi, I'm Eddie Solien. As I approach the significant milestone of turning 40, I find myself reflecting on what this age truly signifies. It's not just another year; it's a point of introspection in my rich and multifaceted journey. Living with severe heart failure, left ventricle dysfunction, atrial fibrillation with a 16% output reduction ejection fraction, Auto Immune Pancreatitis, and Type 2 Diabetes has been an integral part of my narrative. But so has been my identity as a proud Torres Strait Islander and Papua New Guinean member of the LGBTIQA+ community.
Turning 40 is more than a chronological marker; it's a moment to ponder over my journey so far and the paths yet to be taken. I've always prided myself on leading with integrity, regardless of age. My satisfaction comes from offering advice, whether it's related to people and culture, career guidance, advancing reconciliation for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islanders, or driving high-level KPIs for Diversity and Inclusion. I thrive on helping others navigate their paths, finding joy in their growth and success.
However, a recent therapy session led to a surprising self-discovery: I am hostile when it comes to receiving advice. This revelation made me pause and wonder: how can someone who is so adept at giving advice struggle with accepting it? It's a question that delves into the complex nature of human interactions and our psychological makeup. I want to be a better partner to my boyfriend, the love of my life. I recognise that my reaction to receiving advice, even from him, can sometimes come off as defensive, almost as if I perceive his help as an attack. This isn't just about being open to advice in general; it's about deepening the trust and connection in my most cherished relationship.
In a therapist's tone, one might say that the ability to give advice often stems from a place of control and expertise. It's a position of strength. However, receiving advice can sometimes feel like a challenge to our autonomy or an implication that we don't have all the answers. This can be particularly pronounced for someone who has had to constantly advocate for themselves in various aspects of life, from health to personal identity.
As I step into the fourth decade of my life, this newfound self-awareness poses a challenge and an opportunity. It's a chance to reframe my perspective on advice – not as a critique or an undermining of my capabilities, but as an avenue for growth and learning. Turning 40 could be the perfect catalyst for this shift in narrative, a time to embrace the wisdom that comes with age and experiences.
The journey of self-improvement and personal development is ongoing. As I celebrate this milestone, I am reminded that life is not just about imparting wisdom but also about being open to the lessons that others can teach us. It's about finding the balance between leading and listening, giving and receiving, teaching and learning. Here's to the next chapter – a chapter of growth, openness, continued resilience and nurturing the invaluable bond I share with my partner.
