Eddie Solien: Surviving Against the Odds and Navigating the Aftermath
Hello, I’m Eddie Solien. My life’s journey has been anything but ordinary, marked by intense battles against severe heart conditions and other health challenges, all while embracing my identity as a Torres Strait Islander, Papua New Guinean, and a proud member of the LGBTIQA+ community. A couple of years ago, I faced what was perhaps my most daunting challenge yet – a life-threatening pancreatic attack that landed me in ICU, teetering on the brink of life and death.
In the sterile, beeping confines of the ICU, I lay in septic shock and respiratory failure, with a 50/50 chance of survival. The situation was so dire that my partner Ryan and my sister Tammy were pulled aside by the ICU doctor for a harrowing conversation about end-of-life decisions. It was a moment that not only tested my physical resilience but also thrust my loved ones into an ocean of uncertainty and fear.
Why am I still here? That's a question that often lingers in my mind. Survival can sometimes feel like an enigma, especially when the odds are so evenly stacked. I believe my continued existence isn't just a stroke of luck or medical triumph; it's a testament to something deeper, an unyielding spirit perhaps, and a life that still has chapters to be written.
However, survival comes with its complexities. In the aftermath of such a traumatic event, the focus often remains on the patient, understandably so. But what of the silent, hidden trauma experienced by those who stand by, watching, waiting, and fearing the worst? Ryan and Tammy faced the unthinkable prospect of losing me, a trauma that doesn't just vanish with my recovery.
Trauma can manifest in numerous ways, often subtle and deeply personal. For Ryan and Tammy, it might be a lingering fear of loss, a heightened sense of anxiety whenever I face a health setback, or even a subconscious preparation for the worst. These are scars that don't show but are felt deeply.
To Ryan and Tammy: I'm sorry. Sorry that my journey has inadvertently become a source of pain for you. The path of a caregiver or a loved one of someone with chronic health issues is fraught with unsung challenges. It's a path of strength, yes, but also of hidden battles.
My story isn't just a tale of survival; it's a narrative about the resilience of not just one, but three souls intertwined by love, fear, and hope. It's about understanding and acknowledging that trauma isn't always where we expect to find it, and healing is a journey we take together. As I continue to navigate my health, I do so with a profound appreciation for the silent battles fought by those who love me, and with a commitment to support them as they have continually supported me.
