Navigating Emotional Turmoil Before Christmas: My Perspective on Family, Health, and Cultural Responsibility #FUCK

The holiday season often conjures images of joy, togetherness, and celebration. However, for those grappling with overwhelming personal and family crises, it can be a time filled with sorrow, uncertainty, and emotional exhaustion. This Christmas, my family faces an unprecedented series of hardships, leaving us emotionally and spiritually drained. Multiple loved ones are battling severe health issues, and our Papua New Guinean (PNG) cultural responsibilities weigh heavily on us as we navigate these challenges.

A Season Overshadowed by Heartache

Christmas is meant to be a time of joy, but how can one celebrate while carrying the burden of so much pain? My emotions swing wildly—from hope to despair, from love to anger, and from faith to doubt. Each new crisis feels like another devastating blow, forcing me to support my family while processing my own grief and fear.

On one hand, I find myself leaning into science, analysing diagnoses and treatments in search of logic and solutions. On the other hand, my cultural beliefs lead me to question whether unseen forces are influencing our family’s struggles. This internal conflict adds yet another layer of complexity to an already difficult situation.

The Importance of Family in my Culture

For me, family is the cornerstone of life. Relationships extend far beyond the immediate household, forming a network of support and obligation that binds us all. When a family member is ill, everyone rallies together, offering care, prayer, and physical presence. This sense of shared responsibility is central to the concept of wanbel—a unity of heart and mind.

When my cousin Charlie was diagnosed with stage 4 brain cancer after collapsing unexpectedly, our entire family was shaken. The question of where he should spend his final days—at home surrounded by loved ones or in a hospital with access to medical care—became a source of deep reflection. In PNG, the preference is often to remain at home, where the emotional and spiritual bonds of family can provide comfort. However, the reality of medical needs often complicates this decision.

Another blow came when my cousin Jane suffered a severe fall and had to be airlifted to Townsville for emergency brain surgery. After being placed in a coma and showing no brain activity, our family faced the unimaginable decision of removing her from life support. Our faith in miracles often runs deep, and the possibility of a miraculous recovery lingers in everyone’s minds. The fear of the unknown only makes these moments more agonising.

Cultural Obligations and Workplace Understanding

In times of crisis, cultural obligations demand presence and participation. It is not simply a choice; it is a duty deeply rooted in our identity. Employers must recognise that employees from cultures like ours face unique pressures during family emergencies. Flexible policies that allow for family care and emotional recovery are not only compassionate but essential for fostering a respectful and inclusive workplace.

When my uncle Joe went into the hospital with what seemed to be a minor issue, our family mobilised. What began as a sore leg quickly escalated to a life-threatening situation involving heart failure, multiple infections, and kidney issues that required dialysis. Each step of his journey—from ICU to the renal ward—was met with family support. In these moments, being physically present is not optional; it is a cultural imperative.

The Weight of Medical Crises

The past 45 days have been a relentless series of challenges for my family. My father, who has been battling leukemia for four years, faced a new complication when his oral chemotherapy caused fluid to build up in his lungs. Struggling to breathe, he was rushed to the emergency department by my sister. Watching someone you love fight for their life is a harrowing experience, leaving scars that linger long after the crisis has passed.

These events leave me emotionally torn. On one hand, I try to approach each situation logically, understanding the medical facts. On the other, I cannot help but wonder if our family’s recent hardships are connected to deeper cultural or spiritual forces. This blend of modern understanding and traditional beliefs is a hallmark of life in PNG, but it can make the weight of each crisis feel even heavier.

A Call to Action: Prioritise Your Health

Amid this storm of emotions, one thing becomes clear: the importance of proactive health care. To my family, friends, and community and you reading my blog, I urge you—schedule a check-up with your doctor. Have your bloodwork done, test your urine, ensure your vaccinations are current, and discuss any lingering health concerns. Early detection and prevention are key to protecting both yourself and your loved ones.

Health crises like those that have affected Charlie, Jane, Uncle Joe, and my father often strike without warning. By taking preventative measures, we can reduce the likelihood of sudden emergencies and give ourselves a fighting chance to address health issues before they become critical.

Finding Resilience Through Togetherness

Even in the face of so much pain, the strength of our family and cultural values provides a beacon of hope. We grieve together, support one another, and share the burden of decision-making. While the challenges we face are daunting, they are met with the collective resilience that defines us as Papua New Guineans.

This Christmas, the joy of the season feels distant, but the true meaning of the holiday—love, compassion, and unity—shines through in our shared struggles. Though the path ahead remains uncertain, we face it together with unwavering hope for better days.