Eddie Solien Eddie Solien

Balancing Act: Personal Life vs. Work Life – Where Do We Stand?

We've all heard the saying, "You're replaceable at work, but irreplaceable at home." In our hustle-driven culture, striking a balance between work and personal life can sometimes feel like walking a tightrope. But it's essential to ask ourselves a tough question: If I were no longer around, would my workplace genuinely grieve or just advertise my position? On the other hand, our loved ones would undoubtedly feel the depth of our absence.

With this thought in mind, let's delve into some actionable tips that helped me find the right balance and trying to give my personal life the attention they rightfully deserve…… and I really do mean try ….. 😧

1. Set Clear Boundaries

With the advent of remote work, the lines between personal and professional life have blurred. To counter this, establish clear boundaries. Allocate specific hours for work and stick to them. Once work hours are over, switch off work emails and notifications. Your home time should be precisely that.

2. Prioritise Quality over Quantity

It's not about how much time you spend at home, but how you spend it. Engage in meaningful activities with loved ones, be it a quiet dinner, a walk in the park, or simply talking about your day. Remember, presence over presents.

3. Schedule Personal Time

Just as you would pencil in a meeting or a work commitment, schedule personal activities into your calendar. Be it a date night, a family outing, or even some 'me' time. And treat these appointments with the same level of importance.

4. Learn to Say 'No'

You don't have to be available for work 24/7. It's essential to communicate your off-hours to your colleagues and superiors. If an extra task encroaches on your personal time and isn't urgent, it's okay to say no or delegate.

5. Prioritise Self-Care

Self-care isn't selfish; it's a necessity. Engaging in activities that rejuvenate you, be it reading, taking a spa day, or just catching up on sleep, can work wonders. A refreshed mind and body will enable you to be more productive at work and present at home.

6. Reflect and Adjust

Balancing work and personal life isn't a one-size-fits-all. What works for one might not work for another. Regularly reflect on what's working and what's not, and make necessary adjustments. It's a dynamic process.

7. Seek Support

If you're struggling to strike a balance, speak up. Whether it's discussing flexible hours with your employer or seeking support at home, remember, you don't have to do it all alone.

While our professional contributions are valuable, it's crucial to remember where our true worth lies. Our workplaces might move on quickly, but the void we'd leave in our personal lives would be felt deeply and enduringly. Let's endeavour to nurture our personal relationships as zealously as we chase professional milestones, creating a balanced life rich in memories, connection, and love.

Read More
Eddie Solien Eddie Solien

Embracing Self-Care and Mental Health

Living with severe heart failure with left ventricular dysfunction can be a daunting experience, especially when it comes to maintaining good mental health and self-care practices. However, it's important to remember that prioritizing these aspects of our health can have a significant impact on our overall well-being and quality of life.

One key aspect of self-care when living with heart failure is managing our physical activity levels. While it's important to stay active and engage in regular exercise, it's equally important to listen to our bodies and not push ourselves too hard. This means being mindful of any symptoms or warning signs of heart failure, such as shortness of breath or chest pain, and adjusting our activity levels accordingly.

In addition to physical activity, nutrition also plays a crucial role in managing heart failure. A heart-healthy diet should include plenty of fruits and vegetables, whole grains, lean proteins, and healthy fats. It's also important to limit our intake of sodium and processed foods, as these can contribute to fluid retention and exacerbate heart failure symptoms.

Another key aspect of self-care when living with heart failure is managing stress levels. Stress can have a negative impact on our heart health, so finding ways to cope with stress is essential. This could mean practicing relaxation techniques like deep breathing, meditation, or yoga, or finding other activities that help us unwind and de-stress.

When it comes to mental health, it's important to prioritize our emotional well-being. Living with a chronic illness like heart failure can be challenging, and it's common to experience feelings of anxiety, depression, or isolation. Seeking out support from loved ones, joining a support group, or speaking with a mental health professional can all be helpful in managing these emotions.

Embracing self-care and prioritizing our mental health is essential when living with severe heart failure with left ventricular dysfunction. By taking care of our physical, emotional, and mental well-being, we can improve our overall quality of life and better manage our heart failure symptoms.

Read More
Eddie Solien Eddie Solien

The Double-Edged Sword: Navigating Honesty in Our Close Relationships

Hello, cherished readers,

My name is Eddie Solien, and as I share my thoughts with you, I bring the essence of who I am — a proud LGBTIQA+ and Torres Strait Islander individual, deeply connected to Badu Island, and a person who daily navigates the complexities of living with Severe Heart Failure, left ventricle dysfunction, Auto Immune Pancreatitis, and Type 2 Diabetes. These facets of my identity intersect and interact in ways that profoundly shape my interactions with the world, especially in the realm of interpersonal relationships.

Today, I find it pertinent to discuss a topic that we've all grappled with in our relationships — the nature of honesty, particularly the kind that's a bit too raw, too real. It's about those moments when our truth, however well-intentioned, becomes challenging for our close ones to digest. So, let's tread thoughtfully into the nuances of honesty, its psychological implications, and the delicate balance it requires.

Honesty is generally lauded as a virtue, the cornerstone of trust and authenticity in relationships. Psychological studies underscore the role of honesty in fostering deeper connections, promoting mental health, and establishing a sense of integrity. However, there's a delicate interplay here, as honesty, without a filter, can sometimes strain the very bonds it's meant to strengthen.

Being forthright is a trait I've held close, perhaps influenced by the various aspects of my identity and experiences. Yet, through the years, I've recognised that unbridled honesty can lead to moments of inadvertent hurt or discomfort for our friends and loved ones. It's in these instances that the concept of "radical candour" becomes essential — caring personally while challenging directly, a notion introduced by author Kim Scott.

From my perspective effective communication is not just about what we say but how, when, and why we say it. Emotional intelligence plays a crucial role here — it's our ability to recognise, understand, and manage our emotions while being mindful of others'. When we pair honesty with emotional intelligence, we engage in what psychologists term "assertive communication," expressing ourselves effectively and standing up for our point of view while also respecting others' rights and beliefs.

So, how do we achieve this balance?

First, it's important to practise empathy. Before sharing, we might consider how our words could impact the other person. This isn't about diluting our truth but about framing our honesty in a way that's considerate and compassionate.

Second, timing is crucial. Sometimes, our friends might be going through situations we're not fully privy to. Discerning the right moment is as important as discerning the message itself.

Third, we need to embrace active listening. This means engaging in the conversation to understand, not just to respond. When we listen with the intent to understand, we create a safe space for dialogue, one where honesty can be a two-way street.

Lastly, it's vital to apologise and reflect if our honesty has inadvertently caused pain. This shows that our intention is not to harm but to nurture a relationship where openness prevails.

While honesty is a virtue, it's not unyielding. It bends and flexes with empathy, respect, and love. As we navigate our relationships, let's remember that our words have power — they can heal, and they can hurt. Finding balance doesn't mean compromising our truth; it means acknowledging that our honesty exists in a shared space of mutual respect and affection.

With all sincerity

E

Read More
Eddie Solien Eddie Solien

Navigating the Tides: Managing Self-Expectations and Embracing the Power of Planning

Hello, friends and fellow journeyers,

I'm Eddie Solien, coming to you with another piece of introspection, grounded in my experiences as a proud LGBTIQA+ person, a Torres Strait Islander with deep connections to Badu Island, and someone living with distinct physical challenges, including Severe Heart Failure with left ventricle dysfunction, Auto Immune Pancreatitis, and Type 2 Diabetes. My path, like many of yours, has been one of varied landscapes — some known and others unexpected.

Today, I want to delve into a topic that's crucial for our mental and emotional well-being: managing self-expectations and the omnipresent shadow of self-doubt. Additionally, we'll explore the psychological empowerment that comes from having a plan. So, let's embark on this journey with open minds and hearts, shall we?

Firstly, let's unpack self-expectation — a psychological framework we all construct, often without realising it. It's the anticipation of achieving specific outcomes based on our actions, underpinned by our beliefs, values, and, indeed, our cultural and personal identities. For individuals in the LGBTIQA+ community, Indigenous peoples, and persons with disabilities, these expectations can sometimes feel like a mountain range — formidable and relentless.

One fundamental truth I've learnt is that self-expectations, while healthy to an extent, can become burdensome, especially when they are unrealistically high or rooted in the perceived expectations of others. This burden can manifest as chronic stress, anxiety, or feelings of inadequacy, often fuelling the embers of self-doubt.

So, how do we manage this? It begins with self-awareness: understanding our limitations and recognising our strengths. It's vital to comprehend that we are not less capable because of our challenges, be they physical, emotional, or societal. Instead, these experiences add layers to our resilience and shape our unique perspectives.

Here's where the power of planning shines as a beacon. Psychological research consistently highlights the benefits of planning. When we talk about planning, it's not just about having a to-do list; it's about setting realistic, achievable goals, a strategy that psychologists often refer to as "SMART" goals — Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound.

In the context of our discussion, planning is also about preparation for the times when things don't go as anticipated. It involves developing emotional contingencies, which, in simpler terms, means having a self-care plan when faced with setbacks or when those pesky self-doubts begin to creep in. This approach aligns with the principles of cognitive behavioural therapy, a psychological treatment that has proven effective in managing anxiety, depression, and other mental health conditions.

Embracing our identities — whether as part of the LGBTIQA+ community, Indigenous cultures, or individuals with disabilities — is fundamental to this process. It involves integrating our experiences, acknowledging the systemic and personal obstacles we face, and allowing these aspects to inform our plans and expectations realistically and compassionately.

Remember, it's paramount to be kind to ourselves. Celebrating small victories is just as important as acknowledging the times we fall short. It's okay to recalibrate our expectations, to reach out for support from friends, family, or mental health professionals, and to remember that our worth is not solely defined by our accomplishments.

Managing self-expectations and self-doubt is a journey, not a destination. It's an ongoing process of learning, unlearning, and relearning. By always having a plan — one that's flexible, inclusive of our entire selves, and kind — we navigate the waters of life with a little more grace and a lot less unnecessary pressure.

Stay strong in the journey,

E

Read More
Eddie Solien Eddie Solien

It's No Shame, Mate: Let's Real Talk About Men's Mental Health

G'day everyone,

I'm Eddie Solien, and if you're joining me for the first time, here's a little about me. I'm a proud LGBTIQA+ member and Torres Strait Islander with roots tethering me to the beautiful Badu Island. In my walkabout through life, I've not only embraced my cultural and sexual identity but also learnt to live with disability — managing Severe Heart Failure with left ventricle dysfunction, Auto Immune Pancreatitis, and Type 2 Diabetes. Each sunrise brings a new challenge, but also, a chance to be grateful for the journey.

Today, I want to yarn about something close to my heart and essential for our brothers, uncles, mates, and all the other men in our lives — mental health. It's a bit of a sticky topic, right? We've grown up in this sunburnt country thinking we've got to be tough as nails, quiet about our struggles, and always ready to 'she'll be right' our feelings away. But here's the truth, blokes: it's no shame in admitting when things are a bit crook.

Men's mental health is often the elephant in the room — especially for us Indigenous blokes. We're raised to be strong, resilient, the providers, and protectors. And that's deadly, but not at the cost of our wellbeing, eh. We see it all around; our mates struggling in silence, our uncles with a furrowed brow, our brothers with a weighted laugh. We know it, deep down, but the words don't come easy.

But why's it like that? Why's the idea of reaching out so hard?

There's this worry, isn't there? That talking about our mental health will make us seem less "manly," that we'll somehow lose respect. This mentality is more damaging than we realise. It's a bit of a bludger, to be honest. It sneaks up on us and our loved ones, creating a silent battle that many lose without ever voicing a single word.

Here's what I've learnt, though — opening up about our struggles is one of the bravest things we can do. It's not just about helping ourselves; it's about setting a legacy for the young ones coming up. It's showing them that strength isn't about copping it sweet all the time, but having the courage to say, "Hey, I need a hand."

In our communities, we've seen the impacts of intergenerational trauma, discrimination, and loss. As a queer Indigenous man, I've faced my fair share of battles, both physically and mentally. But I also know we're a community of survivors, of storytellers, and of immense cultural strength. We have the power to change the narrative on mental health.

And it's not just talk. Getting help can be practical, too. Whether it's having a yarn with someone you trust, getting in touch with a mental health professional, or even connecting with support groups (there's heaps of LGBTIQA+ and Indigenous-specific services, too). These steps, no matter how small they seem, are part of a journey to healing.

So, let's break the stigma. Let's make it right for men to express vulnerability without the fear of shame. Mental health doesn't discriminate; it affects us all. And dealing with it should be no different.

To all the men out there, remember: it's no shame to reach out. It's brave, it's strong, and it's deadly. You're not alone, and your story is an important part of our shared journey. Let's look out for each other, eh?

Peace

E

Read More
Eddie Solien Eddie Solien

Embracing Life with Heart Failure: A Journey of Resilience and Inclusivity

Embracing Life with Heart Failure: A Journey of Resilience and Inclusivity

As a Torres Strait Islander with a proud LGBTIQA+ identity, I have always been passionate about embracing diversity and promoting inclusivity. However, my journey took an unexpected turn when I was diagnosed with severe heart failure with left ventricular dysfunction. This life-changing event has not only challenged me physically but also emotionally, as I navigate the complexities of living with a chronic condition while staying true to my cultural roots and advocating for the LGBTIQA+ community.

Living with heart failure presents numerous challenges, including managing symptoms such as fatigue, shortness of breath, and swelling. Additionally, the emotional distress that often accompanies this condition can exacerbate these symptoms, making it even more crucial to find effective coping strategies. As a Torres Strait Islander, I have found solace in connecting with my cultural heritage and drawing strength from the resilience of my ancestors.

Being part of the LGBTIQA+ community has also played a significant role in my journey towards acceptance and self-compassion. The support and understanding I have received from fellow queer individuals have been invaluable in helping me come to terms with my diagnosis and the limitations it imposes on my daily life. Moreover, being part of this vibrant and diverse community has inspired me to use my voice to raise awareness about the unique challenges faced by LGBTIQA+ individuals living with chronic health conditions.

One of the most significant challenges I have encountered is the lack of representation and understanding of the intersectionality between my cultural background, sexual orientation, and health condition. This has motivated me to create this blog as a platform to share my experiences, insights, and resources with others who may be navigating similar paths.

Through this blog, I aim to foster a sense of belonging and inclusivity for those living with heart failure, particularly those from diverse backgrounds and the LGBTIQA+ community. By sharing my personal journey, I hope to inspire others to embrace their unique identities and find strength in the face of adversity. In the coming posts, I will delve into various topics, including:

1. Navigating the healthcare system as a Torres Strait Islander and LGBTIQA+ individual living with heart failure.

2. The importance of mental health and self-care in managing heart failure symptoms.

3. Strategies for maintaining cultural connections and embracing one's identity while living with a chronic condition.

4. The role of community support and advocacy in promoting inclusivity and raising awareness about the unique challenges faced by individuals living with heart failure.

Together, we can create a supportive and inclusive space where everyone, regardless of their background or health condition, can find solace, inspiration, and empowerment. Join me on this journey as we explore the complexities of living with heart failure while celebrating our diverse identities and advocating for a more inclusive world.

Read More

The views, opinions, and content expressed in all articles, blogs, and other writings authored by Edward Solien are solely those of the author in their personal capacity and do not represent, reflect, or imply the opinions, positions, or policies of any organisation, employer, or affiliated entity. By accessing, reading, or using the content provided by the author, the reader expressly agrees to indemnify, defend, and hold harmless Edward Solien, their heirs, successors, and assigns from any and all claims, liabilities, damages, expenses (including reasonable legal fees), or actions arising out of or related to:

1. Any reliance on the content provided by the author, including errors, omissions, or interpretations thereof;

2. The use or redistribution of the author’s writings for any purpose, whether commercial or non-commercial;

3. Misrepresentation or assumptions regarding the author’s affiliation with any entity, organisation, or employer.

The author disclaims any responsibility for third parties' interpretation or use of their content. All writings are provided “as is” without warranty of any kind, express or implied. Readers are encouraged to seek professional advice tailored to their specific needs and circumstances, and the author assumes no responsibility for actions taken based on the material provided.